where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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