checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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