Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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