the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
