If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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