my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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