I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
