That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
