some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
