I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize