My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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