Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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