I accidentally burped into my bong.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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