he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
