why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
