How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
