I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So vagazzling was a success
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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