I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
