you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
