K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A bitchslap is in order.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize