I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A+ Viking dick
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
