hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
