But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
