just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
