How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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