It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
