If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
