My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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