ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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