mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A bitchslap is in order.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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