wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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