just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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