What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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