Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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