I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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