My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
ok first of all what the fuck
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
