My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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