That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
