I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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