the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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