We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
