i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
