Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
