and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
