my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
