Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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