i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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