...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
