i permit you to call me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
