If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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