There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
