Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
