Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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