if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
