well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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