I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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